Short vs tall

Is it okay for a short person to make fun of tall people the way tall people make fun of short people? (Of course it is. Why shouldn’t it be? ) And yes, tall people make fun of short people a lot. Or at least the ones I know. My friends are always making fun of me because I have to step on a stool to get something off a shelf. And because I can never see things that everyone seems to see with ease, read tall people. I walk past people I should know because they are not in my line of sight. Well, partly. It also so happens that I have a terrible memory for people’s faces so there is an above average chance I actually don’t know I should know you. But I mostly just don’t see them.

At home when I have to cook on the table top cooker, my mother will ask me if I need a chair so I can see what’s inside the cooking pot. To be fair, when I am making something like Ugali that needs attention to detail, I do have to step on a chair, or at least kneel on it. But come on, do you have to point it out?

She is always asking me if I need help hanging out the laundry. Not that she will help if I say yes. I tried it. I mean, I am going to be short any day of the year if it means getting less work. So yes, I tried telling her once that the hanging lines were out of reach and she helpfully pointed out there was a tree close by and I should climb it and use that as my stepping stone. Sigh.

Short Girl Problems

Inbuilt floor to ceiling wardrobes. The top-most shelf, you could hide a stash of illegal substances up there and I would not know until the police raided my house. (I am not giving anyone ideas). Really, I have to step on a chair and then stand on the tips of my toes to see what I threw up there. If I develop lower back pains in future I will blame architects or whoever is responsible for those designs for not coming up with a solution that favours shorter people. As I will blame them if people think I am messy – I assume everyone is as short as I am so I just throw stuff up there in a disorganized manner and think no one can see the mess.

At some point in university, my bed was the upper one (that’s not direct translation, is it?) and I had a friend volunteer to get me a ladder. Mostly out of pity at the amount of work that went into going up and down. Especially up. I will not even talk about the pleading I had to do to get my roommates’ help if I left something on the edge of my bed that was closest to the wall. Seriously, there is just no way to get to it without getting my feet off the ground and onto a very high surface. A part of me thinks the learning to get on and off the bed is more of an intelligence thing. But why should I take responsibility for my faults if I can blame it on something beyond my control? J

Not that I have a problem with my height. I had never before noticed how short I am until I got a bunch of mean friendsJ, who just won’t let me hear the end of it. I actually like my height a lot. Well yesterday I saw the height I would not want to have. A man walking on the corridors of shops in town and having to bend so he would not knock his head on the sign boards hanging above shops. That was very amusing. If you asked me what shop has a sign board and which one doesn’t, I would not know. I can board some of these hearse-shaped matatus without even a slight bow of the head and now you are telling me someone has to bend to go past shop signs. How does he get through doors? Or into beds? Does he fit into a bed? I know someone who doesn’t. Not a standard bed at least. I am so happy living my life without the struggle of having to worry that if the lady I am eyeing asks me to spend the night at her place the only thing that will be in her bed will be from the neck to the knees. I could curl myself up but supposing my mind thinks to straighten out when I am asleep and she wakes up lying next to that. I’ll shock the poor thing.

Where do I even get my clothes? This coming from someone who does not easily get clothes that fit, I think I know what I am talking about. I have to resize just about every dress and trouser I buy. Making them shorter is not hard. Now how do you make them longer?

Short, any day of my life.

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